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If I never have to interact with another anti-vaxxer or """vaccine skeptic""" ever again I'll be very happy.

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D&D shit 

Channel Divinity: Twilight Sanctaury is absolutely incredible

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D&D shit 

I thought it was 1d6+5 but it turns out if everyone stands still out of combat you can do it e l e v e n times consecutively and if you fill their hp it stacks on top as temporary hit points. I'm at 112/38 hp and the rest of the team is similarly adamantium-plated

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D&D shit 

Oh okay Twilight Clerics have a once-per-day Make Everyone Bulletproof sphere, I'm never playing another class ever again

Important: when carving a pumpkin it is vital to go in with no plan whatsoever and just hack and scrape away until a face emerges

me: *types several paragraphs about chives*
masto: omg not me refreshing bestie oop- 🤪🤪🤪

NSFW, deeply cursed 

Today's most memorable customer: man with spongebob/patrick ahegao porn hoodie

It wasn't even cold enough to need a hoodie today

My father just discovered Slightly Taller Luke Theory and hearing this man who doesn't use a mobile telephone discover the world of the terminally online is fascinating

It's like if an anteater turned round and said "apparently there's this place called Star Bucks where people get plant extracts in their drinking water"

Me: everything's too much and I am sick and tired and broke and in a rancid mood
My friends: NOT FOR LONG FUCKO 💖

I think all multiplayer games should have a setting for "I'm afk but I've left it open for you to do whatever, roam freely but don't expect a response!"

ACNH I have a special chair labelled "If I'm here I'm afk" and it's the most useful thing

Proposed Plan
- Get rid of the gender markers in passports
- Get rid of passports

Food 

Tried to use up some free expired stuff from work, found out if you use plant-based double cream to make hot chocolate it becomes a ganache ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

My entire concept of France is a rustic 1940s village filled with terminally online queers and their cats

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[Elderly Oxford scholar voice] well I'm not sure about that one but in George Brassens' day they used to say-

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I love having a French-speaking Dad and French friends because every time I ask him what they mean he stares into the middle distance and says "I don't think I've ever come across that, must be Youth Speak" and no information is gained by either of us

Food 

Me, opening a can of spam: yeah I'm sure there's enough for us both to have sandwiches!
Me, on my ninth consecutive spam meal: christ how is there so much in one can

actually having a fairly normal one toda*SUDDENLY SIEZED WITH THE URGE TO SEW A TENT*

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