Freddie Murkiri @Murkrow@mastodon.social

My daughter.

See you space crowbird...

Case in point: I did dye my hair Mango Twist and it does look good.

If Mastodon told me to do something I would simply do it. RIP to Hazel but I'm different

Someone's invited me to a Hallowe'en event next year so I guess it's time for thirteen uninterrupted months of Hallowe'en 🎃

Put my pyjamas on early as a treat and now I'm going to bed, hashtag middle-aged

Me: whatchu staring at?
The cat, ears flat, eyes wide: ceiling's haunted

Anyway probably making a pumpkin pie at the weekend

You know how you were really excited about how the supermarket's already selling mince pies?
"Yeah"
And you know how I called you a pervert for getting excited about Christmas so early?
"Yeah"
Well all this Christmas shit at work has got me unseasonably festive...
"Yeah? :D"
Yeah I couldn't help myself, I bough*launches a spooky chocolate bar directly at baby brother's face*
HALLOWE'EN BITCH!!!

Brother is graciously letting it go because the chocolate's tasty :D

Yes I did buy a squeaky dog toy sprout specifically to cut it open, replace the squeaker with catnip and gift it to the beastie for Christmas

Anyway maintaining this human form is bullshit and also kentucky fried cauliflower on every high street when?

Vegetarian food is also a pain in the ass but I can devote a bunch of time to preparing it at home when i have the energy to keep costs down a bit. But again, that's money plus energy instead of just "here's £2 can I have a kfc please oh wow here's hot dinner ninety seconds later"

For £1.80 I could get one litre of plant milk or three and a half litres of cow milk and have change left over and oat milk is yummy but dang I have no money ever

I would love to eat more vegan food but like... here's a thing at £0.40 per 100g and here's the vegan equivalent reduced down to £1.00 per 100g so like,,, how do people go vegan without subsisting entirely on bananas and white bread or devoting four hours every day to cooking

I'm not looking for answers, just yelling into the void

French coworker said she can't look at me without thinking the Kiri jingle in her head so I guess I'm changing my name

I am dying, whoops.

HURGH I'M HOME TIME 4 BED

What is my life

I knocked on the door and the driver just said "no", guess I am walking then.

Bout to spend all my money on a taxi so I can get to my bed slightly faster

Why could we not be having this conversation years ago when I was in uni and could remember what all the things were called

Also why's it like 11pm I want to go a bed