Pinned toot

"I don't say we all jort to misbehave, but we jort to look as if we could."
- Orson Welles

Best thing on the internet for me right now

@theoutrider I've found out that this is possibly due to bagged Russian piss.

The Americans drink recycled piss after boiling it in a piss centrifuge (can't use a normal piss boiler in microgravity), but the Russians are not happy to drink their own piss, so they bag piss and give it to the Americans.

@Nach apparently in the last couple of hours the ISS astronauts have produced *TEN LITERS OF PISS*

A friend sent me this ISS telemetry site, and now I know there are currently 55 litres of piss orbiting the earth: isslive.com/resources/ethosTel

companies vs people Show more

hey masto, how's it going?

this week i bruised both shoulders, both hips and sprained a wrist; that's type 2 fun

The horriffic thread that fucked all our mentions is done, I think, but I was proudest of:

Gemperor Yemperor! Bemperor Emperor
Jimberlake Timberlake

mastodon was a moderately successful social network that lasted two whole years before s rogue thread about how rhyming words are funny are the whole timeline, let this wreck of less and less comprehensible syllables be a warning for future human communication

whenever i see the typo “buisness” i pronounce it “bweezness”

start a small bweezness today

me: accidentally types a website wrong into the search bar

google chrome, for the rest of my life: you want to go to netfliz? you like netfliz you dipshit? you really sure you don't want to go to netfliz.com today?

so does bisexual mean once every two sex or twice per sex

Many years later, still very salty about being just TWO HOURS behind a bot on registering friend.zone, because we all woulda had so much fucking fun with that website

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