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there's nothing in the chess rules preventing pieces from wrapping around to the upside down bottom of the board

id love to make a video game but im terrified of it. ive seen what happens. ive seen what happens to people who make video games. ive seen it. my god i will never make a video game

Also, just to head it off at the pass, my intolerance for this is about equal to fantasy RPG names. I have no idea which character is Hurgle The Red Piss or Mnipx The Wren, it all just blurs into one.

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I mean, I am the person who wrote War Twat so please bear that in mind.

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( from here: rockpapershotgun.com/2020/07/1 )

I think Slime Rancher pushed it about as far as I can tolerate with the whole goo goo ga ga style names of stuff, I would not last five minutes in Ooblets.

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"One of my tasks was to deliver 20 nurnies to the gotsaplop for some gummies. If I feed a frontywun to the dumbirb the mayor will give me 10 wishies. I need to find more seaplops, quibs, and a sporbet for the lernery, and I only made up one of those words. Instead of “to fish” you say “to sea-dangle”, and my favourite villager has a “printypress”."

Fuuuuuuuuck. Uwu games must be stopped.

Wrote a bit on how the current fad for roguelike structure in games is totally not playing nice with how tired I am.

robf.punchingrobots.club/index

Imagine having cats you can take elegant photos of. Mine only have three modes!

Kinda sitting under your neck for maximum floof like tiny kittens but they're enorno, somewhere under/on an unseemly pile of washing and finally, nowhere to be soon.

I could not work on this sort of game, I'd spend the entire time screaming in my heart.

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It's even worse when paired with a pathfinding problem. The game has enemies that flee to a certain distance away from the player, archers, enemies that buff melee enemies and that. The usual stuff.

Unfortunately, this is also an online game and all the hell that must bring. End result is enemies that flee into a wall, glitch slightly upwards, then see previous bug - become unkillable because they're now at the height where attack abilities stop working.

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Obviously there's an easy get out for the player, just move two inches to the left or whatever, but can you imagine what a tangle that must be to have existed for so long? I have nightmares on behalf of the devs every time it happens.

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ESO has some cracking long standing bugs that must be hellish to sort, hence not done, but my personal favourite is how if the player is on a certain incline in the ground, every attack ability stops working.

Stealth game where you can hide in cupboards, lockers, dumpsters, etc, but sometimes it'll trigger a minigame where you have to avoid angering a raccoon, or knocking over a stack of books, or treading on a pile of bubble-wrap, or

It is true, the defining thing about Citizen Kane was its landmark use of laser toting space fish.

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Fuck. Missed a trick.

If Sucker Punch can pull off getting videogames to buy a black and white filter as Kurosawa mode, I can damn fucking well have a Citizen Kane mode that does the exact same thing.

The way SCS treat their audience as

A) not clowns just there to be hyped uo
b) able to handle some level of nitty gritty game dev stuff

...is pretty great really. I do wish it was more normalised than it is.

blog.scssoft.com/2020/07/under

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