Rob @RobF@mastodon.social

I guess on the plus side, it didn't defeat me and I did (painfully) make it through to the end. I can certainly see why younger me never managed to sit through it without getting twitchy and popping a different film on a short way in!

Legit just a bad film that makes Manos seem like high art.

Obviously, the gore and titties make sure it isn't a dodge kid's TV series no matter what the soundtrack implies but seriously, it's the same kind of slow. Watch something like The Tomorrow Children and the pacing and vibe is really similar, it's that sort of samey, tedious, British TV with dodgy special effects kind of thing. Except it's a film, with guts and stuff, and 1983 so no excuses for it.

Oh. That's it.

Absolutely atrocious film! Some of the gore effects were quite good and I'm a sucker for melting face whether that's this, Indiana Jones or Kane from Dr Who, always a good stunt but that was the highlight of some real tedious nonsense.

I can't imagine how weird it'd be watching this without a grounding in UK 70's kids TV or UK public information films. It must seem even worse if you don't know just how ordinary this is.

I think that's an alien egg in mint ice cream??

I had a tank similar to the one in this too. I had it taken off me though because I'd run it into a wall over and over again.

To my knowledge it never summoned a puma.

Ah, the old throwing a towel on a toy tank so it doesn't kill you, only to be eaten by a puma that just appeared in your flat mere seconds later trick.

There's half an hour left on this and I'm genuinely not sure if I can make it. It's bad in a really very very British kind of way and now a clown is fucking up a fridge and eh

Wtf. A clown just knocked a woman out with a droopy hammer. Now a kid is sucking her stomach.

This film feels genuinely six months long. It's so reminiscent of a lot of 70's kids TV but with gore and guts and snake eggs. What an absolutely bizarre thing.

Nothing worse than when your kid has a clown party in their bedroom then offs the neighbour with a giant action man.

The neighbour is full on League Of Gentlemen.

Alien dad rocking the Grattans look.

Ainley! I hate this bloody autocorrect.

If I'd found my kid drenched in someone else's blood, they'd definitely get the day off school! Bit mean sending them in after that.

Also, not sure I'd be entirely in the mood for a shag a few hours later. 99% certain I'd be distracted.

Lucky that shower hose was there so the fully grown adult man that's just been born could clean up a bit.

Still struggling with the soundtrack though. Keep expecting Anthony Ainsley to step out of the shadows, giggling to himself.

Copy of Exchange And Mart there. Exciting stuff.

Gonna be cheering whichever alien murders this entire family. They're all awful people.

I'd blanked shower hoses out of my memory! We had a grey one which was like slotting depression into a tap.

Oh my god, the kitchen is a crime scene. I know it's the eighties but those curtains and that wallpaper! Dear sweet lord.

Most Dr Who incidental music incidental music in a film ever so far.

On a roll today!