tapping the mic one more time
the next time I speak I expect I'll make PRONOUCEMENTS
Still processing this article. But I'm intrigued by its premise that depression and anxiety could have as much to do with your culture as with your brain.
"It turns out if you have no control over your work, you are far more likely to become stressed – and, crucially, depressed. Humans have an innate need to feel that what we are doing, day-to-day, is meaningful. When you are controlled, you can’t create meaning out of your work."
That's been true for me.
If you're new to Masto (or are old to it but still figuring it out) and you want to know how to sort out who to follow: One of my best methods is to find a good conversation, see who's saying things there that make sense, /and follow that profile/.
It's a vastly better algo than checking who's following you (assortment of rando space alien cats), soliciting suggestions (though that can work).
It also means that the best way to get followers /is to converse productively/.
I did get significantly (if nowhere near completely) caught up on work today.
I also got significantly (and completely) caught up on my favorite webcomic. http://somethingpositive.net/sp11212017.shtml
Thank you, @econproph, for pretty much nailing it. https://econproph.com/2018/01/02/a-new-year-auspicious-loneliness/
But I've been looking at things I wrote last year and wondering if there's anything worth resharing with anyone, and I found this, and all of you came back to mind.
Rereading it broke my heart, because following through on the commitment is so hard, and my my best intentions might not be worth a hill of beans. But it's still so important to try.
So I'm here. I will try to stay here, for you, and for me. https://chuckpearson.wordpress.com/2017/03/31/lymi/
And I've mentally shut Mastodon out. Honestly, I'm not sure why - we know this is a comforting place. But for whatever reason, I've actively resisted comfort this season.
I don't know if it's for any reason similar to why I've resisted the sleep I so desperately have needed.
So yeah. I'm pretty upset, about a lot of things, and I don't know how to put form and shape into the path forward, other than to just throw forward and do.
It's been a very hard season. The car my wife drives back and forth to Bristol to work died a very hard and unexpected death a week and a half ago, and we've had to purchase a replacement. That was, frankly, the easy part of the holiday.
There is a host of work left undone, the new term starts in a week, and mentally, I'm not equipped for any of it. Still.
I blissfully distracted myself from the term's end by doing quizbowl work, seeing these wonderful kids that I work with, and in that I know I've made myself useful. This is good.
But that's still keeping myself busy, not keeping myself productive. There's a difference.
And ultimately, I'm piecing together that before I can be productive, I've needed to rest.
I mean, obviously. But just because it seems obvious doesn't mean it registers with this old head.
I've had four or five different posts set up to go in this space over the past week, and not followed through on any of them.
Yes, I survived the term. But the fallout is only now setting in. The past two days I've sat down to do a lot of the work that was let go over the break, and my brain just said "no." I couldn't even think straight.
It's genuinely exasperating.
(the customary end-of-semester huzzah is not released until all the grades are in)
With mastodon we're focusing on the experience of people who participate in #smallstories, whether by writing or reading or sharing or thinking.
If you have a moment to go back and forth a bit with me (and you haven't already replied to @Tdorey), let me know. Happy for DMs.
Learning in the open.
@econproph I have the piece stashed to read later. I went on full collapse throughout the Thanksgiving break. I'm going to pay for it for the next two weeks, but hopefully I'll have the energy to pay for it.
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