Tanya @Tdorey@mastodon.social

20 years ago I worked in a place where a land claim had been settled 15 years earlier. It was argued they didn't have the skills to manage their new financial resources. There were bumps.

Today, I read an update. Familiar local names in management and leadership roles. Notably, someone I'd worked with in Grade 7 now a chartered accountant and Investment Board member (she *always* wanted to be an accountant :))

Change happens. What once seemed impossible, "suddenly" is.

Holiday Monday. We walked along the river, fixed the patio chairs and swept off the deck. Now enjoying the sun and shade and wildflowers we planted in an old bucket this spring while eating our first homegrown peas. And the cat. It’s a good day. #smallstories

"They ask how tending to a handful of gardens, painting one or two murals a year, and fixing up a house or vacant lot here and there can address the blight that has taken over.. And they lament that small dialogues... However, by working on this scale, we could pay much closer and greater attention to the relationships we were building among ourselves and with communities..." ~Grace Lee Boggs #thinkingsmall

I read a lot about curriculum studies today.

The words that repeated: power, subjectification, agency, recognition, repetition, unlearning, unfolding, listening, attentiveness

Words I noticed missing: respect, care, small (scale)

More and more I think my doctoral research will focus on the process of change. What troubles me is much of my reading list: Foucault, vonHippel, Womack.... today I added Centola.

What troubles me is that it is very white and very, very male. So I’m asking, begging really, for recommendations: Non-white, non-male scholars studying the process of change (any discipline) - Expecting the responses will make me feel embarrassed for having had to ask...

My washing machine is fixed. When the pump was opened up, they found 2 barrettes, one LEGO and one hair pin. It appears that it took not one but three kids to defeat it. (Suppose I should be happy they are doing their own laundry.)

My washing machine is broken. It's been broken long enough that I hand washed clothes.

As I washed, I thought. About clothes, the old cottage, "women's work," and the books I might be reading if I weren't washing (all written by white, male academics (!)), and the blog post I might write this evening (time permitting). About leisure, privilege, patience and time. And wisdom never recorded. Then, my girl thanked me for doing her washing and so I also thought about care and small acts of care.

I only walked four blocks. Two to the store, two back. In that short walk, the ground shook under my feet thanks to the road construction, I smiled at the little family-run convenience store that seems to sell everything, including 11th birthday cards, realized that the stuff I’ve been pulling out of everywhere is morning glory (and that I quite like morning glory), and felt the warm sun & smelled a strong earth post-rain smell. And felt thankful. #smallstories

I asked my daughter if she’d made any friends at her new school.

“Tony.”
“A boy? Do you like him?”
“No. Just a friend.”
“Have you met anyone else?”
“Tate.”
“Another boy?”
“I’m not sure. A girl I think.”

And suddenly I felt like the unenlightened, gender-centric jerk that I probably am. I need to learn to talk differently to my kids, I need to do better. May the next time my first questions be, “Are they nice? What do you like about them?”

Over a year ago I started a something to give voice to some marginalized voices. I used a friend’s code to start.

Later, I needed to customize. I talked with him & he suggested a fork. I did. I learned it was not as hard as I thought. He helped & liked my fork.

Recently, he wrote a post. Others identified similar needs (for different reasons). He cited my first ask & built them in for all to use.

Helped me understand the strength of “small pieces loosely joined...”

#forkoff

C: Wow, it works perfectly! Thank you B, I’m sorry I was so mean to you...
B: It’s a miracle!

Thinking about the importance of embracing conflict and frustration in the learning process (and in the open source community development process).

Here’s to finding space to listen, learn and forgive in the process of building something new/ better.

B: What are going to do if you are trying to do something with no instructions?
C: I’ll look for other instructions.
B: but what if you there are *no* instructions?
C: You can always find instructions online.
B: No you can’t! Sometimes you just need to make it up for yourself.
C: Ok, fine. Just don’t break it!
Big sis hands fixing job over to little brother.
...
B: I have fat fingers.
C: Here, let me try.
...
Little brother guides big sis through remaining repair.

Sitting behind two of my kids while they together puzzle through an iPhone screen replacement.

They alternate between arguing with each, supporting one another, complaining about the instructions and searching for additional sources of information online.

Can’t help but smile as I watch this learning experience unfold. #smallstories

I watched a gym competition yesterday. Those girls walked, turned & twisted with ease. It was beautiful and the wobbles and falls were also a wonderful reminder of the difficulty of even the "easy" bits despite *all* of those hours spent in practice.

Maybe balance gets easier with practice, but never "easy." Maybe what takes the most courage is to progress to even more difficult skills, despite knowing that none of it can ever be completely mastered. Maybe that's also part of the beauty.

I was driving my youngest daughter to a gym competition when the GPS instructions took us in an unexpected direction. I said, “I don’t know where we are going. We might not get there in time if this is wrong.” She said, “The only important thing is that we try.” Smart kid.

#smallstories