Once, we asked 'what if Mario had a gun, and also swore?'. Now, in this enlightened age, we must recognise that Mario has the capacity to inflict far greater, uglier violence, without ever raising a finger. What if Mario had a fiefdom, and also swore allegiance to the monarchy?

I think the lesson we should take away from cats is that lying on the floor should be socially acceptable and you should be allowed to lazily lash out at anyone who tries to move you

I wish I got as excited about any transferrable video game mechanic as much as fighting game people do for something called 'Roman Candling'

I have such a soft spot for the trope of "here's a map of the area! *unedited hammer screenshots*"

we need a socially acceptable way to say "you play a relatively small part in my life and basic details about you have slipped my mind" so I can stop lying to people about being bad with names/faces/etc

❎ 'corridor shooter' as a dismissive term for aggressively linear level design

βœ… 'corridor shooter' as a descriptor for an avant-garde encounter-focused FPS that takes place entirely in one arrow-straight dizzyingly long hallway

you ever just think about how you slowly crush a Spiderdemon to death in Doom II MAP06 and then in the very next map you get jumped by like a dozen Arachnotrons

no reason

(the tab width setting doubles as the difficulty setting)

presenting my code editor with a feature that rotates the viewport 90 degrees anti-clockwise and turns the outline of your text into a sweet Trials level

if you can't reach end-of-file, you can't save

the first thing I did in Subnautica was pick up a mysterious egg off the sea floor and I hereby apologise to literally everyone in the Alien franchise whose decision-making skills I have ever criticised

*dons tinfoil hat* the popular image of the soul-sucking cubicle drone job is artificially kept alive by agile training companies seeking to distract culture from the contemporary nightmare of the noisy overcrowded open-plan office

don't ask a girl to step on you if you wouldn't let her do it in her mech

David Will boosted

90% of quantum break's appeal is stealing guns from frozen guys so it looks like they're pretending to hold a gun

David Will boosted

need a Doom 1/2 mod that displays the name of each map's author as you load it up, so I can learn to say "mmm, yes, very Petersen, with a cheeky hint of Romero" when looking at other people's wads

I like the idea of somebody carefully marking the locations of sustainable self-governed settlements and just being woefully misunderstood by the legions of post-apocalyptic travellers who follow

*stumbling through the wasteland, beset upon by raiders and beasts, reaching a ruined wall with the anarchy symbol spray-painted on it* oh thank god, someone who understands the situation

I barely ever read books these days but bookstores are still objectively the nicest-smelling places on the planet and I have to fight the urge to not just sit cross-legged on the carpet for three hours when I step into one

is it paper? is it laminate? is it some horrid toxic glue? I don't care, bottle it for me

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