Abben2 @abbenm@mastodon.social

It's National creative ice cream flavor day, and it's also National gingersnap and National chicken wing day.

So naturally, you should have served this as National gingersnap chicken wing flavored ice cream day.

Happy celebrate your marriage at a picnic while watching asteroids with a bartender and adjusting your leap second on your clock while posting to social media day.

Happy take a picture of almond buttercrunch that you made in a waffle iron while driving your Corvette to work day.

Which has inspired me to think of a new genre, absurdist gardening and naturalism tips.

Seemingly surreal, but actual gardening advice in my inbox this morning:

"If slugs are eating your lettuces before you can, fill some low containers with cheap beer and bury them up to the rim near the vulnerable part of your garden. The slugs will climb in for a drink and drown. "

Today, in distinctions without differences:

"No, Facebook did not patent secretly turning your phone mics on when it hears your TV"

And if you read the article, the actual argument boils down to "it might be recorded on some other device than a phone, like a smart speaker."

Uh... How is that better, or even substantially different?

https://www.theverge.com/2018/6/28/17514968/facebook-patent-rumor-phone-microphone-tv-ads

what ddo u eat if ur from religion

chicken praycon ranch

From now on, instead of saying what individual holidays are occurring today, I'll just say them as one single, combined day.

So happy national give Paul Bunyan a handshake in caps lock while eating a Bomb Pop dipped in Tapioca Day.

What? Apparently it's "Happy Birthday To You" day. The song? By Trey Songz.

Today is national beautician's day. Also national canoe day and national chocolate pudding day. I think we can consolidate these into one, somehow.

Today is color TV day. Where we honor our fallen cathode ray tubes.

It's global Smurfs day.

It's international fairy day! Make sure to watch Bright in honor of this day!

It's my day! National Stupid Guy Thing Day!

It's the first day of Summer! Also it's national dump at the pump day. Not sure what that means exactly.

Hooray! It's Plain Yogurt Day! Observed every June 20th. That's what day today is. You can always tell whether or not it's June 20th by asking the nearest stranger if it's a plain yogurt day.