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*twitching from too much caffeine* im so sleepy

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Slack: It looks like you're back, but your status is set to away. Would you like to change your status to active?
Me: no Slack, shut up, I don't exist

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me online: hey look at my selfie (◡ ‿ ◡ ✿)
me IRL: dONT LOOK AT ME

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"Fuck capitalism, fuck the GOP. Also look at my cat."

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rage and swearing 

A single firework on July 5th, probably miles awake: boof
Me: SHUT. THE FUCK. UP.

Stay turned for my upcoming autobiography: “How Long Has This Bobby-Pin Been in Here? The Thick, Curly Hair Story”

also couldn’t have predicted that I’d have a second child a year later looool

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LB: couldn’t have predicted what 2020 would be like a year ago 🙃

*stares at google doc*

*changes “enthusiastically” to “excitedly”*

yes, good work today, all done

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okay, instead of live-tooting my life, maybe I should do some story writing

at some point it stopped making that noise, soooooooo either it resolved itself or it broke and I’m too lazy to get up again and check ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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me: *loads dryer and turns on*
dryer: *CHAINSAW NOISES*
me: uh

if you’re not eating waffles with peanut butter you’re doing it wrong, don’t @ me

I’ve been watching a lot of music videos with the kiddos because it’s something inoffensive that’s not Sesame Street :|

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what the heck this is a pretty music video (although the song is mostly boring) youtu.be/olGSAVOkkTI

dang, should have gotten an ace one for my ace friend ):

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LB: is this really how I’m going to end up coming out IRL

because I NEED an eeveelution holding a bi flag? lol

the Sylveon is for a friend and the Umbreon is for me :3

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weight loss (+?) 

good lord I’m thin, what even

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