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Chat with Mother, episode 5,376:

Mum: hi david


Mum: Google+ is closing down. What do I need to do?!

Me: Nothing. You don't use Google+.

Mum: But I use Google to search, and for my photos!

Wife is blaming Jeremy Corbyn for failing to win no confidence vote.

Brilliant finish from Rashford! What a pass from Pogba!

Fuck me. For a few minutes, I thought the Chinese had found a snowman on the moon.

Made an early start with the Xmas Dinner. Broccoli, cauliflower and sprouts are cooked, and chilling in the fridge. Carrots and parsnips are roasting in olive oil in the oven, along with Paxo sage and onion stuffing balls. Chopped potatoes are simmering on the stove until soft enough to mash.

This morning, my wife informed me - or, in her words, 'reminded me' - what gifts she was expecting from me for Christmas.

Quite literally, all Corbyn has to do is open his mouth, and stupid people everywhere are frothing at theirs at what he did, or didn't, say.

Renowned man-manager and rent-a-mouth Roy Keane believes the players threw Mourinho under a bus.

Is that the same bus that has been parked in front of the Stretford End for the last couple of years, or the one that Mourinho failed to manage to get to the stadium on time?

United have a list of one. Is that even possible? Let alone wise?

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