online posting soldier @evinta@mastodon.social

MY CAT STOLE MY MERKIN

Donald: Thou art a fuck-ass!
Rosemary: I beseech ye.
Elizabeth: Hark! Didst thou refer to me as a "fuck-ass"?
Rosemary: Elizabeth, cease!
Elizabeth: Thou canst suck a fuck!
Donald: Oh, pray tell, Elizabeth, how doth one "suck a fuck"?
Elizabeth: Wouldst thou like to know?
Donald: Pray, tell me!
Rosemary: We will not suffer this in the place we sup!

Eugen, with a whole boot in his mouth: MOB RULE IS DANGEROUS

some say if you put your ears to a boot, you can hear eugen saying "in this instance, wil leaving was a win for abusers"... powerful....

"haha aw dang you all are really cool-"
Eugen: Please don't use that kind of language here.
"what, "dang"? sorry, i thought-"
Eugen: No, "cool", you're only able to praise d-list former child actors. Any praise not direction unto a celebrity who has spent more years playing himself than any other role is grounds for discipline.

"hey mastodonians. really didn't like that episode of star trek i just saw, but-"
[YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED]
"i didn't do any-"
[YOU HAVE BEEN IP BANNED FOR HARASSMENT]

got 'em

@Gargron

mastodon.social more like mastodon.bootlickers lmao #later #nerds

how the hell do i follow people on this without importing

https://knzk.me/@carmilla i'm a girl of my word

people are getting mad that my posts about a certain starfleet boy are making the rounds. theyre dming me saying things like "sapiosexuals put headphones down their pants and play mozart before a date". should i be persecuted for the power of my posts? do i not deserve to speak freely on line? to this, i say: when sapiosexuals want people to shut up they say "listen up, 100s, a 115 is speaking"

horses were based off of pegasi

yeah i love chopin

chopin dee- oh... hmm..

they do not think that things are the way that they are, but i can assure you that they, in fact, are

is this your Number One?

no one has considered that jonathan frakes could be helping willy with this.

shit i had a real joke and i forgot it

i hate when people talk about a popular topic. it pisses me off. why arent u talking about what i want to talk about? FUCK YOU. I WAS IN HONORS IN 5TH GRADE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! 😠