Springtime Pun 🐣 @jennatar@mastodon.social

me on mastodon
https://mastodon.social/media/JxnWiCsW1aqj1ZQwavc

Ted just shouted "you know I'm online right now, right?!" because all his Star Citizen friends can hear me loudly singing the junior-high choir version of Aladdin's "Friend Like Me" while I sit in the bathtub and surf Amazon looking for shit to add to my wishlist

me: Do I smell a fart?

husband: I just farted, yes.

me: It smells like you were eating peanuts at the circus all day.

husband: That's amazing! I *was* eating peanuts earlier today!

me: Yeah, peanut farts. You smell them a lot in elementary school.

I just said "you go set it up, genius!" to my spouse, and it was supposed to sound genuinely encouraging, but instead it sounded so, so sarcastic

My favorite thing is staying up late to watch '70s made-for-television horror with my cat

Hey! It's a dark and stormy Monday night, so @esdin and I are thinking we'll finally wrap up Lamplight City. Starting soon at http://www.twitch.tv/jennatar (spoilers, presumably)

Me and my bud Sam Machkovech going live with Hypnospace Outlaw now at http://twitch.tv/jennatar

just found out, through Mario Lopez on the hotel TV, that Viggo Mortensen's character is supposed to be "Italian-American"

"The Hungry Turtle"—loooooool. My friend Samantha Irby helped write "Shrill" on Hulu, and THAT was a reference to the Hungry Brain, a Chicago institution where much, much free jazz has been played

I wonder how much cat fur I've swallowed

I am very passionate about helping my cat because she is honestly one of my best friends. I aspire to be more like my cat. She's just a really rock-solid person. She's caring, communicative, supportive, appreciative, and good at maintaining her boundaries. I say this to my husband a lot, but she's really one of my heroes! Her and Jimmy Carter, who builds houses

I really like veterinarians a lot. I've never met a vet I didn't click with right away. They're just good people. When you're trying to explain what's wrong with a cat—and to do so, you have to make observations about who your cat ordinarily is as a *person*—you're advocating for someone who can't communicate. A good vet can translate and interpret anecdotal evidence, turning it into experiential data

Wait what???

I'm tooting about this because I keep trying to google my pet peeve, and I CAN'T FIND IT ONLINE.

You can google "I hate when people's teeth scrape on forks" but you can't google "stop handing me things"?!?!

My husband is the worst offender. He will just stand there with the item-to-be-taken outstretched, and it doesn't matter what I'm doing, he will just stand there pushing an item toward me, "here, here"

My pet peeve—and I think it's from working in retail—is when someone *keeps* handing me a thing when my hands are already obviously full

we're never gonna be able to afford the house we live in, lol https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/07/style/uber-ipo-san-francisco-rich.html?fbclid=IwAR1xfMFBibDh2Qo4HKvJvF4ClYqmOhkjrxlTWbkjSsl4BTZ1X83fjsidivQ

My dog is snoring in a way that is distinctly musical and honestly pretty weird

just relaxing and surfing Etsy tonight

My dog turns 15 tomorrow! 🎂🐾