is it september or is it still march. honestly it is anybody's guess.

Playing around a bit more with after some conversations the other day

a story? about mental health? definitely negative though 

It starts with a bad mood. Maybe you know what caused it. Maybe it just struck. It doesn't matter. You don't feel good, and you notice.
You don't notice how part of you blames yourself for it, for feeling bad, and how you start punishing yourself in some tiny way.

You skimp on personal hygiene or grooming. You reuse clothing for too long. You consume things you know you shouldn't. For some people this might be sugar, or caffeine, or spicy food, or legumes, or lactose, or alcohol. You skip out on meeting a friend. On exercise. On your hobby. You stay up too late. You work somewhere that's bad for your posture. You leave a mess somewhere you notice. You don't pet the dog.

In those moments you feel like doing these things, or not doing them. But you don't feel good about them. Now you have more reason to unconsciously punish yourself. You do. You feel more and more like you deserve this. Less and less human.
In front of other people, you wear a mask. You don't feel like talking about how you feel. It's so automatic you don't even notice. Everybody wears masks all the time anyway, right?

At some point you notice the pattern, and you try to break out of the downward spiral. You take time. You practice self-care. You build good habits. It's work, and it requires attention, but part of you knows it's worth the effort.
And you start feeling… not better but… less bad? Bit by tiny bit.

But you can't spend all of your energy on self-care, and habits aren't perfect. Life happens. Something slips. Your attention lapses. Your virtuous cycle gets dented.
Suddenly you're back on the way down. Because you remember. Because it always stayed with you. Because without conscious intervention, we don't do what helps. We do what we used to do. Because punishing yourself has long become a habit too.
And the farther you go, the harder it becomes to intervene.
Hopefully you'll notice sooner this time.
Hopefully you'll have enough energy to get out.

Tried to `crystal eval` in a `kubectl exec` shell and somehow all of the networking in my cluster stopped working. No idea if those are related, but replacing the nodes didn't fix it. So I deleted the cluster and cranked up a new one.

I only changed 3 lines of YAML for the newer k8s API and everything was back to normal after a `kubectl apply`. It took *seconds* to replace everything. No wonder people love Kubernetes. 🤯

if I’m ever feeling down I’ll just come look at our new router’s app dashboard and hopefully feel a bit better

Why we still have open offices.

tl;dr: Cargo culting google & early startups. Cheap-ass budget. Easy to cycle through employees.

I can save you a ton of floor space. Let everyone wfh.

I loved the new Star Wars movie 

To be fair, the last of the prequels came out almost 15 years ago. The last of original trilogy was released 18 years before the first of the prequels.

We were all in very different phases of our lives watching each trilogy. You can't go into this trilogy expecting the same experience you had watching the previous ones. The movies haven't changed much, but the viewers very much have.

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I loved the new Star Wars movie 

I loved the new Star Wars movie. It was very Star Wars.

People are unhappy with it due to plot holes, retcons, and inconsistencies. I can understand that, but the original trilogy was chock full of these. I mean, Han's best friend couldn't pronounce his name correctly.

Good writing was never part of the recipe for Star Wars. Just space wizards and robots on top of a John Williams score.

This is a decent speed, but if this is all Comcast is gonna give me maybe I shouldn't be paying for gigabit. 😕

Found a bug in Neo4j for some functionality I need to make federated search work, reported it, and it turns out it was fixed *3 days ago* and will be in the next release. 😂

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I've been developing this whole thing using ngrok for my Mastodon instance to reach out to to confirm my identity and verify post signatures and stuff, which is hilarious because now my account's notifications tab on that server looks like this

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