Josh "cortex" Millard @joshmillard@mastodon.social

gonna get a job as a foreign indignitary

Walked all the way home…didn’t bonk into any poles or trees or signs…and I was drunk the whole time

where’s my fucken Nobel baybee

read something yesterday on the thesis that humans have advanced far enough to create new problems they don't know how to solve, and i have no idea if it was a doomy tweet or a line from the Peter Watts novel I'm reading

Gondor calls for aid, and Lindsay Lohan will answer!

games as a cervix

today i couldn't recall Diamond Dave's actual full name for a solid minute and this is how the long slow slide into dementia begins

Jack's gonna be a
Dog-suckin' star
Diane a debutante
Outside the Tastee-Freez

Oh yeah, chilidogs
Long after the thrill of dogs is gone

wanna come up to my loft and see my coping mechanisms

I have done the extremely annoying task of manually rectifying inventory for my art shop, for which I feel I should be rewarded by you in turn rewarding yourself by buying some art.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/CortexCraftworks

well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of the movements of an arbitrary selection of astronomical objects millions of miles away

doom guys of the world unite

you have nothing to lose but your chainsaws

[championship bong rip] you know what would be funny, is if it turned out Martin Luther was Lutheran

it's just nice to see Charles finally succeed at something

A Veiny Castle

i have been commissioned as part of a local school auction to "remix" a painting from Goodwill and and honestly it's the most energizing assignment I've had in a while, like it's basically "do something randos will pay money for as a commentary on a random piece of shit that said randos would probably pay the same amount of money for" which is as nihilistic and open-ended as it gets

i could paint Ms Piggy pegging Kermit and they'd be like "oh how deep"

the mine sweeper's spouse is known as a mines weeper

famous person wears outfit

ME: [boning Jesus]
JESUS: say it
ME: ...
JESUS: SAY IT
ME: "in god we thrust"

a dream
is an ass
your heart eats

what if by some perverse twist of fate the only record of our era was my shitposty free-association posts on masto et al and future anthropologists and/or aliens thought I was like a zen master and spent centuries puzzling through all this wisdom

that would probably be a pretty good post hoc justification for how I spend my time, right