Josh "cortex" Millard @joshmillard@mastodon.social

Tumble out of bed
And feelin' all blurry
Pour myself a
Bucket of slurry
Scream and torque and
Try to rise from death

*exasperated Kim Deal voice*

where ISN'T your mind

CUT MY LAB INTO PIECES
THIS IS MY LAST RETORT

it turns out the real heartworms were inside us all along

Trying and failing to come up with a good framing context (drunken racist fantasy dwarf playing scrabble in a tavern and trying to pick a fight with nearby horse people passive-aggressively?) for my brain offering up, unbidden, the fact that an anagram for CENTAURS is ARE CUNTS

Stripes with Incisions
oil on canvas, 24"x24"

yule is stored in the bells

lwyd

It's time again for Endless Jingling, the random carol generator I made a few years back and for which I am unquestionably going to hell.

http://joshmillard.com/endlessjingling/

wait, what's up with bofa, dog?

And so on.

look, buddy, the bible says Cain & Mabel, not Cain & Abel

Ooooh baby baby it's a West World
(descending guitar riff)
Subservient robots abused by guests, girl
Ooooh baby baby it's a West World
(descending guitar riff)
We pair exposition up with breasts, girl

HAMLET
(hoisting skull)
Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio. A man of infin--

STALLMAN
(bursting in stage left)
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as knew, is in fact, knew/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, knew plus Linux

More. Sore. G'night.

New work in progress.

Which is all to say, I guess, hey. Shit's weird sometimes. I'm okay, stuff that needs getting done is getting done, but sometimes goddam it's a muddle and the contours of life and the process of navigating the complex web of social connections and obligations and so on is fuckin' tiring and weighty at times.

So as weird little stepping stones of externalizing rather than endlessly internalizing shit that ties my brain up in knots, there's something useful about the admixture of masto as a semi-obscure social space and of a general expectation I have of the folks I follow and who follow me of being decent and having good boundaries that makes it feel more...possible, permissible? to dump a little bit here in a way I might not so much on e.g. twitter.

And on the one hand, this isn't some deep dark secret -- I know masto isn't a private haven and don't expect it to be, and e.g. I'm mutuals with a whole bunch of MeFi folks on here -- and on the other hand it *is* the sort of thing I rarely talk about in detail in public. One of the odd twists of my Very Online life is that I have fewer venues for publicly-but-effectively-privately talking about stuff; most of the folks I would talk to are also wrapped up in my online life and responsibilities!

Random masto confessional:

I let a lot of stuff sort of fall by the wayside, and I feel bad about it, but I also know I have a limited supply of energy and wherewithal, more and less at different times, and I just kinda prioritize it as:

1. Keep my daily life shit and my marriage in baseline healthy state.
2. Keep MetaFilter operational.
3. Literally everything else.

And if the shit sliding falls wholly under 3, I call it a qualified victory. Sometimes I do better, but at least: priorities.