Hallowe'en health and safety advice:
Do not dress as a one-armed, stumbling zombie if you value your spine or hips

2pm: a new record for realising that my fly has been down all day.

An early Father’s Day present has left me with an important question: is it ok to eat nothing but cinnamon scroll donuts all day?

Currently reading a computer science paper from 1972. The typewriter aesthetic is making me super-nostalgic for university.

RT @natalietran@twitter.com
Netflix: Are you still watching?
Me: Please don’t leave me alone with my thoughts
Netflix: What?
Me: Nothing. All good. I’m fine

RT @captainkalvis@twitter.com
me: thank you for that glass of milk earlier

sperm bank employee: what glass of milk

me: the glass of milk that was sitting on your desk

sperm bank employee: oh my god

me: what

sperm bank employee: you drank my glass of milk

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