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mcc

Okay, here is the formal release of my Android app "Zero". It does nothing. You launch it and it just immediately quits. It is literally the Android Kotlin sample project with a blanked icon and the single line `finish()` added to MainActivity.onCreate.

Precompiled apks are available. You may find this useful if you want to do nothing.

github.com/mcclure/android-zer

GitHubGitHub - mcclure/android-zero: "Zero", an Android application which instantly quits when run."Zero", an Android application which instantly quits when run. - mcclure/android-zero

I am open to potential suggestions of changes and improvements I could make to Zero, for example changing the color of the icon, changing the color of the white screen that briefly flashes when you open the app for the first time, any method you know of to prevent the brief white screen flash when you open the app for the first time, and any method you know of for preventing Zero from appearing in the recent apps list after launch.

I think it would be very funny to release an update to this app and have the release notes say "Bug fixes and improvements."

Just realized I forgot to post a screenshot of Zero in action. Here you go, hope this helps

@mcc <two years passes> “Zero can now read email” /jk

@considermycat ...I was going to joke about "half of Common Lisp", but, wait, no, a Lisp or Forth interpreter embedded into something @mcc has written actually checks out...

@mcc

To really *chef's kiss* this, you need an animation

@trochee It's kind of hard to capture video of it because it only displays anything the first time you launch it

@mcc I think posting a one-frame-long animation would be in the spirit of the thing

@trochee @mcc I think an animation that shows you searching, downloading, installing and starting this app would be great, so you could get a million comments saying the video seems to have got cut just as the app started.

@mcc @trochee

A solitary random black pixel.

In the screen of white of course.

@mcc Maybe you can add a HowTo YT video of a few minutes

@mcc wouldn't a black screen be a tad less jarring?

@unspeaker depends on whether you're using light mode or dark mode, I suppose. which is why light and dark mode are under consideration.

@unspeaker but also I couldn't figure out how to set the background of the app. Lots of information about how to set the background of a widget in Jetpack Compose, the background, weird silence.

@mcc

mobile development is hell

(imho a momentary black screen in light mode would be more acceptable than a momentary flash of light in dark mode. admittedly that's just a nitpick though 🤷 love the audacity of this project)

@unspeaker Yeah

ANyway as suggested in the README, I really did create this to fulfill a specific need and not just because I thought it was funny for it to exist. So I'm not inclined to spend effort on improving it unless I have *some* indication that at least one human will use it if I do.

@mcc "Added bugs, fixes, and improvements."

@mcc
"General system stability improvements to enhance the user's experience."

(from Nintendo)

@kirtai They defeated a homebrew method didn't they

@kirtai @mcc "improvements"

Meaning regressions.

@mcc can it make an unpleasant noise before closing?

@mcc the app should uninstall itself on first run so it leaves no trace.

@mcc Have you considered a shorter name, such as perhaps ""?

@varx Hm, that's an interesting idea. I'm not sure Android would allow it. I initially tried giving it a completely/blank (empty xml) icon and this was not allowed, it substituted a default value

@mcc

Is there any way it can have a draconian terms of service and privacy policy?

@MegaMichelle Well I already released it as public domain, but I suppose there's nothing stopping me from adding this when I submit to Google Play.

@mcc @MegaMichelle TERMS OF USE:
- You must not use this app while using this app
- Commercial use is prohibited, as is non-commercial use
- Use requires Pro subscription, which will never be available
- All data collected by this app is owned by your worst enemy in perpetuity
- Your firstborn child must be sacrificed to The Void
- I'm right behind you right now, but I'll be gone if you turn around

@mcc I think a "hello world" would be useful.

@mcc I have a bug report. I downloaded the app, and it did something. I can't say what, but I feel different. I want my money back !

@ewjoachim We cannot but accumulate the fingerprints of the moments which touch us

@mcc bet on how long it takes before android api changes make it not work as intended?

@pearofdoom Great question. I guess I'll find out

@mcc at uni I tried to learn android development. I found the pace of change in the system api and tooling too fast. I'd have to rebuild from scratch every semester break.
This was 10 years ago when things were more competitive in phone design.

@nev Actually I am actually surprised how much code is required on Android to do nothing. It's not an insubstantial repository.

@mcc
update that does division by zero. result undefined.

@mcc TBH with some CI setup this is probably a solid option for an android boilerplate app/repo

@ancients if that's the goal maybe i should remove the .idea folder from git

@mcc add an option to opt into a beta in the Play Store?

@lambdageek If I get even one person who says, honestly, to my face, they would make use of a version on the Play Store, I'll probably do it.

This said, I *have* been banned from the Play Store since roughly 2011¹ because I declined to give them a home address they could publish on my app pages.

¹ It might have been named something else at the time.

@a2_4am @lambdageek What?

When I first started publishing Android apps in 2009, there was no requirement to publish an address. Later (I checked, looks like it was in 2014), they added this requirement, and they are again strengthening it this year, there's a deadline in February Tusky is currently trying to figure out how to comply with.

If this was 2014 something called "gamergate" was happening then and I was targeted, which may have been why I didn't feel like publishing a home address.

@a2_4am @lambdageek Anyway I didn't fill out the required entries, my apps (which were increasingly not compatible with newer Android anyway) got pulled, and they sent me angry emails for years demanding an address I never provided before eventually stopping. I think quite a few apps got pulled for this same reason because people didn't want Google to dox them.

If I did this now I would have… methods, for making the address requirements acceptable.

@mcc @lambdageek I'm really sorry to hear about all of that. I didn't know any of that backstory.

@a2_4am @lambdageek it's okay, extremely not your fault!

@mcc @lambdageek they've actually added more doxing and ID verification since then, TBH, so just ship an APK...