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Nolan @nolan@mastodon.social

Pinned toot

mom: hey son I joined this new Mastodon thing
me: oh shit mom, I coulda helped you find a server, which one did you choose?
mom: well I liked the privacy policy on satanic.bikerladi.es but then communist.blaze.party had the shortest ping latency so

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If you drop a penny from the top of the empire state building it can cause an earthquake

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Report: America's income inequality is on par with iOS 11's

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thank you Google voice to text for changing sad day to senpai

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It's a nootropic from the dark web called Rainy Day Trees. Dude was givin' a keynote speech about connectin' grandparents to the internet, suddenly he's explainin' a detailed diagram of his "Fursona" - "Sparkle Skunk".

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crypto currency based on how many cat pictures you have on your computer hard drive

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Every now and then I remember that "Army of Darkness" almost had the perfect title, "The Medieval Dead", and get angry all over again.

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Remember when Poochie was the 4th Powerpuff Girl?

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lol on my first ever mastodon post I misspelled it as "mastadon"

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yo.soy is available but I don't speak spanish so I'm not gonna get it

someone get that

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How To Make An Omelette:

1: have scrambled eggs instead

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I don't like Prince's music but I think he's a good person.

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*cracks knuckles*

Time for the good toots.

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Freddy Kroger. He enters your dreams to give you good grocery prices and is backed by unions.

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Hi everyone. I just realized the PlayStation is a joke name based on the word workstation and I can never forgive Ken Kutaragi and the original staff of Sony Computer Entertainment for this

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@jk
the gnu philosophy is that software should be free but difficult to use, so that the people who write the software can make money as consultants

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the main design flaw in microsoft windows it that it doesnt let you delete My Computer

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Funny story: I was traveling back in time to kill Hitler, and I accidentally killed my own grandfather.

I know, rookie mistake, every new time traveler does it at least once. That's not the funny part.

The funny part is, it wasn't my grandfather from Hitler's time. It was my present-day grandfather, who'd also traveled back in time to kill Hitler, and we both got a little mixed up.

Once I got him un-killed, we had a good laugh about it, believe me.

...well, maybe you had to be then.

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tired: come at me bro
wired: come hug me bro

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I think a lot about the line, "Bye bye [pokemon] " that your character always says when trading a pokemon a lot.