I think a lot about how Gary Larson ran a cartoon about a dog that finally caught the car in his dreams and everyone wrote angry letters saying they thought the dog was fucking the car.

The only reboot of The Office I'm interested in is one that shows a competent, functional office with competent functional leadership.

You know, fiction. I've had enough incompetent offices and bosses in my real life, thanks.

Nobody gives a shit if you think Epstein should have gone to jail or not, asshole.

They're upset because you keep making the case that minors can willingly and voluntarily consent to having sex with creepy old bastards.

Stallman is mischaracterizing what people were upset about in this post on his site about how people are mischaracterizing his argument.

"straight razors in those days you know, you'd bang em on the curb to nick 'em up, soak 'em in a rain barrel to get rusty."

"I said I'm gonna wrap this chain around your head."

"I apologize for calling you Esther Williams."

AAAAND I just won Joe Biden Bingo.

Uncomfortable prediction: the election manipulators are going to make Biden president this time.

"Well, THAT can't be right. Democracy has been hacked. This election is null and void. Trump stays president until we can 'figure this all out.'"

That's how this works with every product in this industry.

This isn't an Apple thing, it's a "we have to sell people the same stuff every year" thing.

"That's why the iPhone 11 can be considered a placeholder until Apple adopts some more-or-less common features from other smartphones."

They come out with 3 a year. Every single one of them has been a placeholder until the next one. That's how this works.

I think whoever designed the early 90s MacOS logo was a fan of Designing Women, because it looks just like the necklace Jean Smart wore in this 1986 episode I'm watching

Things to keep in mind when having Richard Stallman speak at your event:

1) do not buy him a parrot.

2) do not let him remove his shoes, lest he pick things off his feet and eat them in front of your attendees.

3) Don't admit children so they don't get "willingly" pedophiled.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: when Apple introduces a round Apple Watch it will sell better than all previous models did.

"But I don't WANT a round Apple Watch; square is better" is something a large number of Apple Watch fans have told me over the years.

However, most of these same people said the same thing about always-on screen, and now they're crapping themselves over that one being available.

Always-on screen finally arriving aligns well with my "Apple is going to sell officially licensed replica watch faces on the round Apple Watch" speculation.

Round is the only remaining hurdle.

Who possibly could have imagined that releasing genetically modified mosquitos into the wild might have unintended consequences? 🙄

As MoviePass (finally) shuts down for good, here's an offer for any of you VCs dying to throw your money away:

You can ask me if the thing you want to invest in is a good idea, and I will tell you for free. My track record for predicting failure of stupid plans is impeccable.

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