Are they going to have to exhume the ex wife to ensure there's no nuclear secrets in there with her?

(This is notable, because Burgerville's "cold turkey club" was a thing I ordered a lot. I literally quit cold turkey cold turkey because the manager made me feel shame for how much money I was spending there.

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It was a really bad time, both of us were working way too many hours and I was sick with a mystery lung illness and picking up something on the way home was the least painful solution for dinner. But this interaction with the manager made me quit cold turkey.

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"You buy so much goddamned fast food that you not coming here anymore might have an actual impact on our revenue, so here's some free money" is not a great way to ensure I continue coming to your restaurant. Talk about a backfire. I think it's my fault that they have tipping now.

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Several years ago when the drive thru at the Burgerville near my house was moving slightly slowly a manager came out just to my car and handed me a gift card, saying "I'm so sorry this is taking so long. You're one of our best customers, so here's something to make up for it."

Tired of being tracked and marketed to by your search engine? Check out Neeva. I've been using it over a year and can't imagine going back.

From a little over a year ago, showing that Google was working on extending RCS to Samsung Messages via a backend proxy mechanism. I don't know for absolute certainty that they're still using this, but I believe so.

I remember going to the fridge and grabbing a jar of Best Foods Mayonnaise and scouring the label where I eventually saw the text "Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies." I guess it was just some kind of corporate buyout, not a rift in space and time like I suspected.

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Hellman's baffled me. I was 10 years old and had never been off the west coast, so seeing a commercial with a familiar jingle -- but for a different brand -- really messed with my head.

"Bring out the Best Foods, bring out the best"
"Bring out the Hellman's, bring out the best"

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In 1989 I lived in a tiny town in Alaska, where we had one television station called the Alaska Satellite Television Project, programmed with content from all the major networks. I saw east coast television for the first time then, including Hellman's Mayo commercials.

Is the White House position that entails taping together all the documents that the president rips up despite being repeatedly told that he cannot rip documents up a non-partisan one? I think that'd be a pretty cool job.

Make people choose to use iMessage, and if the recipient isn't an iMessage user, tell them they have to use the SMS app or send an invite to join iMessage for $3.99/mo or whatever.

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The quagmire is only a quagmire because Apple decided to launch iMessage over top of SMS, to be in control of whether a conversation happens over SMS or their proprietary system. And, because Apple wants more services revenue, it seems like this would be an attractive option.

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I wouldn't force Apple to open up iMessage to rivals. But I might support forcing them to remove SMS from iMessage.

Put back the old SMS app and stop using the existence of an iMessage account for the recipient as a switch to determine how a message should be sent.

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In a reasonable world, there should be a way for people who use one operating system to textually communicate with people on another operating system. But we do not live in a reasonable world.

You also can't text a landline, so the number itself isn't what's important.

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My opinion has changed pretty dramatically on the "texting between iPhone and Android is broken" issue.

What I would like to see: phone numbers stop being your identity, the key to communicating textually with people. You don't use the email address your ISP gave you, right?

I believe they've changed what the C in CDC stands for. Reading between the lines, it seems clear that the C now stands for "Conan."

"To crush the disabled, to see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the infirm."

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