purgatos @purgatos@mastodon.social

sun tzu you idiot, I will keep my enemies far away, so they don't kill me. you total nincompoop

today I propose to reinvent the car
*tech investors nod silently*
the first issue is capacity, a car only holds 4-5 people. I suggest chaining together many cars
*tech investors begin to smile*
the second is safety, they crash all the time! I propose a fixed route for each car chain
*tech investors are talking happily to each other in agreement*
the third is price, much too expensive for many people. I propose this system be publically owned
*tech investors scream as they head for fire escapes*

last night my cat curled up against my chest(I was sleeping on my side) and stayed there all night

once my niece(3 at the time) was being told off for something and replied "well at least I'm not a bitch!"

yes kanye running for president is a stupid marketing stunt, but last time someone did this they won

all pasta shapes are the same thing, you can use any for anything and even mix and match

a lot of times when like jeff bezos donates a couple million dollars people point out that it's the equivalent of a regular person giving $5 as a percentage of wealth and that's fine, but it still doesn't tell the whole story. he could donate well over 99% of his wealth and still be grotesquely rich

I remember the good old days when smash brothers players were known for bo and jerking off in other people's beds

canadian media have decided it's cute and quirky that an old white veteran tried to assassinate the prime minister

why do I have to be sick today, a holiday, instead of tomorrow, a workday

only patio seating is allowed to be open right now, but some places don't have patios so they're just setting up tables and chairs in the parking lot

thanks to canada day for getting me the day off work

never forget that reddit took years to ban literal child porn trading on their platform

I ordered donuts to pick up tomorrow, see you tomorrow donuts