Pinned toot

My drawings are like my children, and all of my children are huge disappointments

Pinned toot

I'm always a little embarrassed meeting friends I know from the internet in person for the first time because it's like oh uh sorry, I'm only funny online

Pinned toot

I'm muting myself because all my toots are dumb as hell and I shouldn't have to be exposed to them

The software is willing but the firmware is weak

This vehicle registration office smells like a gift basket of assorted farts

Are there workplace laws about eating crunchy food with your mouth open because my coworkers do it at their desks all the time and it is viscerally upsetting. It's sonic violence.

*oh my expectations were that it would fall flat, because I spent the last three months working on this, so there's no way it couldn't have been a massive waste of time and energy and of course I must have overestimated the appeal. I'm delighted and horrified to be wrong

I wish I could show you the absolutely fucking bonkers email I had to write to Dan in Florida and his colleague today explaining what, exactly, my product is and the extremely niche market it's aimed at, and why it is horny

These people's whole business is enabling weed dealers and pornographers to sell online, but I'm getting the impression they're, uh, accustomed to what I would consider to be very vanilla pornographers

I launched my Adult Novelty Lifestyle Accessories store yesterday and within 24 hours sales have significantly outperformed my expectations* and now I have to scramble to fulfill orders, and I also got one teen callout where they do that thing where they put a slash in your name

When you pay your parking ticket, take a moment to think about the judge's collection of dirty pair wall scrolls

Do you think warren buffet has a collection of pastry-themed kigurumi that he just wears around the house

Thinking about like cons and renfaires and stuff and how often you run into very highly paid executive dorks with very conventionally respectable real world lives but they spend every other weekend doing larp with foam swords when not extracting wealth from workers

You can really make a lot of friends just by making a habit of showing people that you're prepared to work to understand them

I know that sounds like a mean thing to do, just yank the rug out from under someone's online RPG group like that, but I'm pretty sure I made that forum for Shaun and he used to be our DM in San Jose, and then Shaun dissolved the group because he didn't want to DM anymore, and then two weeks later Shaun started DMing for a new group that had all the same people in it except me, and invited one of his other friends that wasn't welcome in our home, so fuck Shaun

Anyway sorry I just killed your decade-long squatting run, whoever you all were. This is what you get for accruing a mysql database ten times larger than my webcomic's.

This is like discovering you have a huge colony of raccoons just like living in your attic and not knowing for years because you never look in there, and their footprint is so small it doesn't draw your attention, but instead of raccoons it's teen goths

I'm pruning databases now. The largest of them is a 20mb forum database for some kind tabletop rpg community I had to open up the database in an admin panel to see what it was being used for and I don't recognize any of the names or what's being discussed but it looked SUPER active and might have still been in use?? I vaguely remember creating a forum for one of Jenna's friends when we were in san jose, and then promptly forgetting it was there

I'm an incredibly irresponsible tenant, please do not scold me

I have been getting some very curt emails from my hosting provider this week because I've got like six or seven wordpress blogs and probably a couple of phpbb installs that haven't been upgraded to the latest versions for years, most of which I haven't used in years, that are now doing nothing but soaking up brute force attacks and SEO comment spammers, slowing down the server for everyone else

look at all these mysql users I just have hanging around on my webhost, created for fora and blogs and other projects I started over the last fifteen years that are now long dead and just waiting to be compromised by bots

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