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My drawings are like my children, and all of my children are huge disappointments

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I'm always a little embarrassed meeting friends I know from the internet in person for the first time because it's like oh uh sorry, I'm only funny online

Pinned toot

I'm muting myself because all my toots are dumb as hell and I shouldn't have to be exposed to them

99% Invisible is doing another short run of Articles of Interest which is great and this episode about Dapper Dan and the world of fashion knockoffs and the power dynamics between large companies vs. small creators knocking off each other's work is great - 99percentinvisible.org/episode

the 3d printing community's inexhaustible appetite for making irons men and storms trooper is something that I generally find tacky and annoying, but I guess if it wasn't for that species of nerd pouring money into printers, they wouldn't be as good and as cheap as they are now

you know what I ain't been on in a while is mastodon

Millennial middle age means half the friends you knew growing up are having kids and the other half have new genders

November is the most inconvenient month of the year, hands down. Break it up and distribute its days to the other months. Give February three of them, one to all the 30-day months, then evenly distribute the rest.

Y'honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I appreciate you being so willing to indulge me. Now, I may not have the fancy ivy-league degree of my esteemed colleague, this brilliant big-city prosecutor, after all, I'm just a simple bappy paws otter who don't know nothing, but if you good folks will h

👏all👏impalers👏are👏vlad👏

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I didn't realize I crossposted this, haha. What's up mastodorks here's just a little goof from me to u

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*JK Simmons when observing a maned wolf voice* :

He.. leggy?

Root boosted

you'd think I'd post more on mastodon given it's the only service twidere gives me notifications for

are there tools for easily trimming dead accounts off your followed users list yet

Deliberately refraining from just bingewatching thecrafsman out of fear that I'll reach the end

I keep telling Jenna I'm her human husband, something that has been true about me for years, but now she is skeptical?

I can forgive a curt nod or a clipped "hey" if we accidentally make eye contact in the workplace restroom, but if you attempt to initiate any kind of conversation with me in there, you've made me your enemy for life

Do you think the m&m's mascots have the same taboo about cannibalism that humans do

"Oh, that's right, it's anthrocon weekend," he said, at intervals of every five or ten minutes, over next five days

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