Pinned toot

My drawings are like my children, and all of my children are huge disappointments

Pinned toot

I'm always a little embarrassed meeting friends I know from the internet in person for the first time because it's like oh uh sorry, I'm only funny online

Pinned toot

I'm muting myself because all my toots are dumb as hell and I shouldn't have to be exposed to them

Root boosted

you'd think I'd post more on mastodon given it's the only service twidere gives me notifications for

are there tools for easily trimming dead accounts off your followed users list yet

Deliberately refraining from just bingewatching thecrafsman out of fear that I'll reach the end

I keep telling Jenna I'm her human husband, something that has been true about me for years, but now she is skeptical?

I can forgive a curt nod or a clipped "hey" if we accidentally make eye contact in the workplace restroom, but if you attempt to initiate any kind of conversation with me in there, you've made me your enemy for life

Do you think the m&m's mascots have the same taboo about cannibalism that humans do

"Oh, that's right, it's anthrocon weekend," he said, at intervals of every five or ten minutes, over next five days

I don't know why you need human bones to do black magic, they are not very special. Just about everyone has human bones. some people have a lot of them.

If you think self-driving cars are safer and more efficient than having everyone drive their own vehicle, wait till you hear about robust, well-funded public transit systems

Saw some morning glories creeping up the bushes yesterday

I want a pop-up blocker that also automatically hides modals for fake customer service chat, subscribing to newsletters, allowing location and notifications, and that bar at the bottom asking me to consent to cookies

"jet lag radio" is a very good episode title, Waypoint

If Seattle freeze is real howcome strangers keep starting conversations with me at gas stations and grocery stores

The software is willing but the firmware is weak

This vehicle registration office smells like a gift basket of assorted farts

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