Sin Vega @sinvega@mastodon.social
- Depression
- http://lonelymushroom.com/?p=3416
Critic, curator of Unknown Pleasures at Rock Paper Shotgun. Interested in feelings, history, fiction, hip hop, gender. Mostly nocturnal. Powered by self-doubt.
Joined Sep 2017
sometimes self care means allowing yourself to feel shitty for a few hours. Sometimes caring for someone means just being close to them while they do that.
I understand the urge to "fix" them and chase away the black dog. But sometimes you just have to take it for a walk.
Someone needing care and also needing space to feel shitty without being hectored or smothered or invalidated = me completely in my element tbh
I'm pretty sure that normal people's reaction to their partner having a depressive episode in their room is to not know what the fuck. Me, I'm like "aHA! You done fucked up, depression! You can fight me, but you cannot fight us both"
Explaining to my gf that the wand died because it was powered by a ghost
"well, I have the key to the drawer. But to walk across the two rooms in between here and there will take over a minute and one day I will be dead
I can handle walking simulators. But I am beyond tired of walking through the treacle dimension while extremely heavily sedated simulators.
Seriously cannot wait to see how the tv series of Who Fears Death is gonna shake out
I am hopeful though. I feel like I was a big help. She came over on Saturday and was expecting her ptsd about this town to mean she'd want to leave on Sunday. But she felt safe enough here to stay until a few hours ago. She even had a good birthday.
I am a good gf, please update your charts accordingly.
A few more hours until I find out whether my girlfriend will lose her home. I am optimistic that she won't, but I doubt they'll get rid of her shithead flatmate either so she'll be living in a horrible situation still.
Sin Vega
boosted
anyone ever told you "premature optimization is the root of all evil"?
let me tell you a story. about computers and javascript and hitler and the soviet union.
a friend of mine just dug up some numbers and did some math for my dyscalculic ass and came up with the conclusion that just by transmitting the minified version of jquery around (not even executing it!), Planet Earth is likely using up somewhere between 7-14 billion kWh of power every year.
let's put that into some perspective.
world war two was the single deadliest conflict in human history. it killed somewhere around 80 million people, which at the time was three percent of *all humans, everywhere.* it left europe in ruins, and nowhere was the damage so intense and horrific as the Soviet Union.
the Battle of Stalingrad is one of the most famous battles of the war. two million people died there alone. in the opening salvos the entire city was flattened by nazi and soviet bombs alike. eventually the Union prevailed, at a tremendous cost.
but Stalingrad was only one of the cities flattened, only one of the battles fought as Europe burned. the devastation was so comprehensive that nearly every western nation had to rely on aid from the US, one of the only powers on either side whose economy was intact, to rebuild. (it didn't help that American wartime policy was designed more to inflict as much Nazi death and destruction as possible on the Soviets, of course).
if we add up the energy of every single explosive device detonated over the course of that terrible war, from hand grenades all the way up to the two atom bombs the US detonated over japan, slaughtering civilians en masse and turning two cities to rubble in the space of a moment, we get the figure of about 3 megatons. or in kilowatt hours, 3.4 billion, spread out across all those years of war.
compared to 7-14 billion kWh just to transmitting the same tangle of bytes around again and again. every single year.
and that's just jquery. not the cost of executing it. not the mass of other garbage javascript and analytics and social media spyware, which now often adds up to megabytes per page. not the cost of rendering or running any of that.
just to zap jquery back and forth across the internet to every computer accessing a website that uses it.
a final point of comparison, now that i have your attention: bitcoin uses up 46,000 billion kilowatt hours per year. a number which is likely to keep on growing.
draw your own conclusions about web design & software optimization.
let me tell you a story. about computers and javascript and hitler and the soviet union.
a friend of mine just dug up some numbers and did some math for my dyscalculic ass and came up with the conclusion that just by transmitting the minified version of jquery around (not even executing it!), Planet Earth is likely using up somewhere between 7-14 billion kWh of power every year.
let's put that into some perspective.
world war two was the single deadliest conflict in human history. it killed somewhere around 80 million people, which at the time was three percent of *all humans, everywhere.* it left europe in ruins, and nowhere was the damage so intense and horrific as the Soviet Union.
the Battle of Stalingrad is one of the most famous battles of the war. two million people died there alone. in the opening salvos the entire city was flattened by nazi and soviet bombs alike. eventually the Union prevailed, at a tremendous cost.
but Stalingrad was only one of the cities flattened, only one of the battles fought as Europe burned. the devastation was so comprehensive that nearly every western nation had to rely on aid from the US, one of the only powers on either side whose economy was intact, to rebuild. (it didn't help that American wartime policy was designed more to inflict as much Nazi death and destruction as possible on the Soviets, of course).
if we add up the energy of every single explosive device detonated over the course of that terrible war, from hand grenades all the way up to the two atom bombs the US detonated over japan, slaughtering civilians en masse and turning two cities to rubble in the space of a moment, we get the figure of about 3 megatons. or in kilowatt hours, 3.4 billion, spread out across all those years of war.
compared to 7-14 billion kWh just to transmitting the same tangle of bytes around again and again. every single year.
and that's just jquery. not the cost of executing it. not the mass of other garbage javascript and analytics and social media spyware, which now often adds up to megabytes per page. not the cost of rendering or running any of that.
just to zap jquery back and forth across the internet to every computer accessing a website that uses it.
a final point of comparison, now that i have your attention: bitcoin uses up 46,000 billion kilowatt hours per year. a number which is likely to keep on growing.
draw your own conclusions about web design & software optimization.
This would mean being in the same room, most likely at my flat in London, exact degree of your anonymity entirely up to you (that includes changing your mind). The upshot of which is that you'd also get my cooking
Related: one of my b-plots this year is to run a feature for RPS with up to three friends, so I'm currently accepting applications to be one of those friends (well, probably not TODAY, but in general)
genital jousting, obv. And maybe overcooked. I don't really know though, this is the big gap in my column (which I'm gonna try to fix this year but right now, other priorities)
quick, quick, what's a good local multiplayer game to play with your gf
my gf is in the shower at my flat and I cooked for us and we had a cake but my landlady started cooking a massive bowl of leeks and now the flat smells strongly of leeks and I feel sick
Sin Vega
boosted
- fulfil the dreams of paternalistic victorian weirdos whom wished for the proletariat to spend their off hours wholesomely walking 19th gentury cemeteries instead of planning revolution and gettin twatted on bathtub gin
- Depression
- http://lonelymushroom.com/?p=3416
Critic, curator of Unknown Pleasures at Rock Paper Shotgun. Interested in feelings, history, fiction, hip hop, gender. Mostly nocturnal. Powered by self-doubt.
Joined Sep 2017
