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If you don't believe in yourself, I'll believe in you until you will too.

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reminder (for myself too):
It's ok to question,
it's ok to be unsure,
it's ok to be confused,
it's ok to change you mind,
it's ok to be vulnerable,
it's also ok to be completely sure about yourself with nothing to question.

If you're having dark day, I hope there's somebody for you to reach out for. If not, reach out for me. I can't do much, but we can be confused together.

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I'm Tuula or Tuukka, depending on the day, and like tinkering with code and little toy soldiers (mostly 15mm ancients). I try to pick up reading again, preferably something that isn't code related. Currently that something seems to be .

I'm somewhat confused who or what I am, so you can expect steady stream of toots about that if you decide to follow me.

And I'll try to be generally friendly and safe person to be around.

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Have you heard of Mudita?

Muditā (Pāli and Sanskrit: मुदिता) means joy; especially sympathetic or vicarious joy. The pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being.


got myself a nice top and now I have been amused all day how visible it makes my piercings. Probably nothing I would wear to work then :D

Tuula boosted

Got some Finnish to read this time. Completely new genre for me, looking forward finding out what this is about.

weeee, another night of three hours of sleep. I hope this doesn't turn to regular thing.

Tuula boosted

I find it really unfair how easy things go for me and how hard they can be others..

new day, new adventures.
I wonder what today will be.


Since I was on the roll anyway, I told the news to our new CEO when we had one on one chat to get to know each other.

And she's like "thank you for trusting me with such a personal and big thing. I'm happy you have decided to pursue this." and told that she wants to me feel safe and comfortable at work.

I'm really blessed today.

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we spend an hour talking about how I see things turning out and what I would like to happen. And she was so super encouraging all the time. She knows people here well and said that they have huge hearts and most likely would look at it as positive thing and ask how they could support me on this journey.

And she looked so genuinely happy when she thanked me trusting her so much that I could tell her such a wonderful news.

Now I'm crying.

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aaaa, some people are just special.

We have psychologist that we can talk to now and then at work. Just to help us survive in it jobs I guess. Today I started that "my life has been a huge knotted mess for years and I decided to do something about it and got referral to trans policlinic, but I don't really know what to do at work and stuff."

And she didn't batt an eye. Immediately congratulated me of huge step and felt genuinely happy for me. I'm not crying, but it's not far.

@nuhn every time I polish my nails, I think your comment "You can do your nails? With polish and shit?" and it makes me smile 😁

it's morning, I got 3 hours of sleep last night and I'm already tired. Today is going to be uphill day 😅


I got a letter (or electronic copy, real one still on mail, but anyway). TAYS made assessment based on GP's referral and I'll have my first appointment before 12th of February 2021. That's long time to wait.

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changed batteries to hone trainer, chipped a nail. Next time I'm going to use industrial strength floor varnish or something as top coat.

leggings and jumper dress acquired. Also, what is this magic fabric that is so soft on skin?

also, completely unrelated. MRI scans are close to magic. It's basically: hey, hydrogen atoms, look here. now look there. thank you! And then listening to resulting radio signals from all those atoms and constructing 3D image from that.

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