stray autistic cat<p>I studied modern dance and <a href="https://neurodifferent.me/tags/ballet" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>ballet</span></a> when I was in my teens and 20s. I was drawn to it as an abstract art form. I was quite good... alas, I moved on from it lacking support. I was <a href="https://neurodifferent.me/tags/autistic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>autistic</span></a>... no one knew I needed encouragement, no one knew that even though I was told a thousand fucking times by accomplished dancers and teachers that I was really, really good, I didn't believe it, but said nothing. I walked away from it.</p><p>I internalized everything. Held it all silently inside. But I was focused like a laser, unrelenting, practicing, practicing, practicing, beyond everyone else in our Hollywood studio in the Los Angeles area. </p><p>I would wake up at night doing plié exercises and leg extensions. I literally did ballet in my sleep. </p><p>For me it was a world of autistic "stim" every day, all week long, all month long. Heaven. It was ritual, routine, special interest, and hyper-focus all wrapped into one activity. </p><p>I tragically and so regretfully have no photos. When my teacher offered his students photos from one of our performances, which showed me flying through the air, my <a href="https://neurodifferent.me/tags/hypermobile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hypermobile</span></a> feet perfectly pointed, legs extended, all in perfect form, I rather cryptically, stoically and autistically declined. Who needs photos? There will be more photos on another day. </p><p>Part 1 of 2. </p><p><span class="h-card"><a href="https://a.gup.pe/u/actuallyautistic" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>actuallyautistic</span></a></span> <br><span class="h-card"><a href="https://a.gup.pe/u/actuallyadhd" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>actuallyadhd</span></a></span> <br><a href="https://neurodifferent.me/tags/adhd" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>adhd</span></a> <br><a href="https://neurodifferent.me/tags/autism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>autism</span></a> <br><a href="https://neurodifferent.me/tags/intenseworldtheory" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>intenseworldtheory</span></a></p>