Hi everyone, would you be so kind and share some things that help you move forward if you feel stuck? It could be an idea, an app, an image, a song, an action or whatever else gets you moving.
Don't hesitate to share things that seem too easy or trivial to you. They might be the biggest aha-moment for someone else.
If you find this helpful, please consider boosting for wider reach.
Some of mine are:
- Identify a really tiny step that I feel ready to do right now. If doing the dishes feels to overwhelming I may feel capable to just collect the dirty dishes in one place. Then I see if this propels me to do more, but I also allow myself to stop right there and come back later.
- Resting. Often when I'm stuck, I'll check inside and find signs of mental, emotional and/or physical exhaustion. I allow time for rest, knowing the spark to do something will naturally return for me.
@gettingunstuck Your first point. Pick something, anything in the list of stuff you need to do. Start chipping away at it, and you’ll often find this opens the path to everything else.
@alexanderdyas yes! Movement creates more movement. To lower the threshold even more, I really like David Allen's idea in Getting Things Done that you could compile a list of actionable tasks that will take you 2 minutes to get done. I tried this some time ago and my brain was on fire to get to work - which is rather unusual for me.
Complaining to someone that I can't find the will to do the thing usually is enough to shame myself into doing the thing. It usually was via chat servers with friends/family but I found an accountability guild on my todolist app (#habitica) where I can do so without bothering my friends/family.
In less severe blocks, epic music to get out an energy well, or podcasts to keep my brain fed while doing boring chores which is refuses to do otherwise.
@technicaltundra These are awesome, thanks so much for sharing! I'll be looking into getting an accountability guild because I suspect this would make a huge difference for me.
@gettingunstuck if you are a Discord user, I see multiple servers on this list with the accountability tag and a description that matches what I am looking for. But I'm sure there are other online tools where such help can be found.
@technicaltundra uh, I didn't know that was a thing. I'm not on Discord yet, but I'll check that out!
@gettingunstuck honestly: a small bottle of fruit cider, just occasionally, at the end of a working day.
To properly take the edge of things, when I take a book to the park to unwind in the sunshine.
@grahamperrin thanks for the candor!
@gettingunstuck go for a walk, preferably in a park or somewhere you can “mull things over”. There is something about being outside that can help to unlock ideas. I’d be shocked if you didn’t achieve some way forward or allow yourself to put the issue in perspective.
@iainmccormack oh yes, so true!
A few weeks ago, reading a book, seated at the park bench I contemplated the untidy grass verge, intended to bring a tool and tidy it on my next visit. Community spirit, and all that — it's an almost invisible park, maintained by a small group of volunteers.
I mulled over: the ultimate futility of things, various things; beginning somewhere in the past, ending somewhere in the future when, it's predicted, the light from all stars will be long gone; and somewhere but nowhere near the middle of this expanse were me, and the grass verge with which my mortality was suddenly and inextricably linked.
@iainmccormack yes, you may be shocked, but not as shocked as I was by the unlocking of my ideas and the end to my day so misshapen by a few, transient, blades of grass.
🙶… The bowl seemed suddenly to turn itself over and then to distend and swell until it became a great canopy that glittered and trembled over the room, over the house, and, as the walls melted slowly into mist, Evylyn saw that it was still moving out, out and far away from her, shutting off far horizons and suns and moons and stars except as inky blots seen faintly through it. And under it walked all the people, and the light that came through to them was refracted and twisted until shadow seemed light and light seemed shadow—until the whole panoply of the world became changed and distorted under the twinkling heaven of the bowl.
Then there came a far–away, booming voice like a low, clear bell. It came from the centre of the bowl and down the great sides to the ground and then bounced toward her eagerly.
"You see, I am fate," it shouted, "and stronger than your puny plans; and I am how–things–turn–out and I am different from your little dreams, and I am the flight of time and the end of beauty and unfulfilled desire; all the accidents and imperceptions and the little minutes that shape the crucial hours are mine. I am the exception that proves no rules, the limits of your control, the condiment in the dish of life." …🙷
F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The Cut-Glass Bowl," Flappers and Philosophers, Lit2Go Edition, (1920), accessed October 07, 2023, https://etc.usf.edu/lit2go/84/flappers-and-philosophers/1408/the-cut-glass-bowl/
Davis Park, where things were put in perspective:
https://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/2908937
@gettingunstuck
Going for a walk helps.
@gettingunstuck Hi. If I feel stuck, I write down, in order of importance, what needs to be done today. (Just today's list.) It clears my head. Then I go for a walk and ignore the list. Once I get back from the walk I have energy to do what's on the list. (I just realized that I do this most days, not just the days I feel stuck.)
@jesseblayne I'm starting to see a pattern here with so many people recommending to go for a walk when feeling stuck.
alphabet bath consolidate discontent express framework
Mind map: ideal! However, a condensed map might be still too large for someone else to get what's in mind.
Bath time: in my mind's eye, keywords (or phrases) from this map condense into something like a NATO alphabet.
Attention spans are short, so: fewer than twenty-six letters in this alphabet.
Consolidate: no more than one keyword per letter of the alphabet.
Wherever a letter has multiple keys: use an alternative letter to frame the thought.
Use the resulting shortlist as a tool, to help with expression of discontent.
Express, then move on, positively.
Or again: lie sleepless, in the bath, theorising the forward movement and dreaming of sleep.
@gettingunstuck With regard to projects, tasks, and #GTD feeling stuck and unable to make progress...
- don't start or switch projects, even if planned, if the capacity (Time, money, energy) doesn't exist to do it
- Simply commit (to yourself, or others) to doing less / set the criteria to saying 'yes' to be higher
- Create a 'slack time' project worth 15% of available work-time to accommodate quick, non-recurring tasks that come up
Per my post: https://www.isaacwyatt.com/posts/2023-08-29/
@iw ah, that's so great! I also often feel like doing a little less gets me to do more at a later time.
@gettingunstuck
1. medication!! helped me a bunch.
2. Writing down the things I’m overwhelmed by (usually all the things I ‘need to do’).
- this helps me to see that there’s not a massive infinite list of things, and makes doing them feel more achievable.
3. Extend 2 by writing any deadlines for each task, to help prioritise.
4. For things like ‘cleaning the house’ I start with one small task (doesn’t matter what, just pick one. A great one to start is putting away clean dishes or clothes - that way you have space to put newly clean things), and see where that takes me.
5. Go with the flow. Try to recognise when you’re jumping between tasks, and ask yourself if jumping between tasks is actually a problem in this instance. If you’re putting away clean things, and then suddenly have stopped doing that to pick up some trash, that’s not a bad thing. Don’t punish yourself for it.
6. Invite someone over! This usually motivates me to clean/tidy so things are nice for my friend. Or sometimes talking to someone can help provide a different perspective, or a bit of encouragement/support, or even just help with getting things done.
@shieldsy05 I had always wanted to get back to you for a quick thank you for sharing all of your ideas. I especially like No. 6, getting people on board can be so powerful.
@gettingunstuck i wish i knew!
i think it takes "making choices all day long and not operating on pattern/habit/compulsion/etc.", but that's hard lol. at least for me it is...
i suspect it's different for everyone.
@gettingunstuck sorry if this is tmi and too out there, but lately i've been thinking of my addictions/compulsivity as a demon (i gave it a voice, a face, etc.). and now i am in the process of visualizing my inertia as a demon.
like, what is it, exactly? is it "the laze", is it "the slothfulness of the bible"? i don't think it floats over my shoulder and whispers things to me, it just sort of sits on me or weighs me down, keeping me in bed or in front of the computer. or is the real issue that i judge myself for ~indulging in sloth~? i dunno. i might be crazy! (that's a joke - i take medicine for mental health, so i am indeed crazy).
@gettingunstuck ...it doesn't have to be "demons" either. i could think of them as "brain monsters" that i have to "slay" with my magical swords and spells or whatever. but i think visualizing these problems as characters with personalities and MO's can be helpful.
@mk30 I relate to the darn effort to make good choices, all day everyday!
If visualizing your sloth as an entity works well for you, maybe you'd be interested in the Internal Family Systems framework? Their basic take is that none of your parts are bad. All parts are trying their best to have you survive emotionally and physically but sometimes their strategies may be maladaptive. IFS taught me a different and kinder way to relate to myself and it was a major turning point for me.
@gettingunstuck Sometimes I'll see a truly trivial task that needs doing (think: candy wrapper on the floor) and in the worst moments of AD(H)D it can lie there for weeks.
I have learned to ask myself, out loud, "Why not now?"
And when I find that I do not have an answer, not even a bad one, I pick the darn wrapper off the floor and throw it away.
@pelielios Awesome, sometimes it just takes putting yourself on the spot!
I came up with this mnemonic to help me when I'm overwhelmed by my to do list: 1 SODA.
1 - One thing at a time.
S - Size - Make the task smaller.
O - Obstacle - Why have I not already done the task?
D - Daily limit - How much can I actually do in a day?
A - Aim - Why do I want to do the task?
I have another mnemonic for days when I've slept in really late and feel like I don't have time to get anything done: DISCARD. This is to tell me what tasks I should do.
D - Deadlines.
I - Interests.
SC - Self care.
A - Appointments.
R - Rest.
D - Delegate everything else.
In addition, I have a set of index cards I can look at that say the following:
If I'm in pain, take a pain killer.
If I don't have a to do list, write a to do list.
If I'm not motivated to tidy, take before and after pictures.
If loud sounds are distracting, try ear plugs or white noise.
If I'm super bored, try a change of scenery.
If I can't focus on a manual or repetitive task, listen to music.
If the computer is distracting, turn off the computer.
If there's no urgency to a task, make a short deadline or set a timer.
If I know what to do but can't get started, try accountability. (Body doubling, Focus Mate.)
If there are too many tasks to focus, write just one task on a sticky note and set a timer.
If I'm tired and groggy in the morning, drink caffeine.
If I'm looking for something to do, stand up and look around (not at the computer.)
@Mustbetuesday Thank you for your great ideas! Maybe sometimes getting out of a rut is easy if you have predefined clear paths, laid out in a way that a fuzzy brain can grab and follow.
@gettingunstuck Well, maybe not easy, but at least less hard! 
@gettingunstuck I wouldn't have believed how much it would help me to move my fridge up a bit! Now everything is (more or less) at eye level+it's easy for me to keep track of things and know what I have (or don't) and what I'm running out of. Used to be that I either had none left of something, or so much of something that half of it went bad before I could use it (because I'd forgotten that I still had some and bought some more). (At one time I had 10L of milk in my fridge. I live alone.)
@gettingunstuck Oops, wrote this in German accidentally. Let's try again:
2 years ago I moved into a (physically) completely accessible flat; what a difference to my old one! Not just the fridge thing... For example, my "kitchen" is lined up against one wall, so everything in my studio really *is* one room and it looks so open and much bigger than the old flat (about the same size area-wise) and everything is visible, which is incredibly important to me with my ADHD. 1/3
@gettingunstuck Exchanged some of my cupboards (mostly kitchen/household stuff ones) with "open" ones with wire baskets, so everything in there is visible as well. More help with my ADHD! (If I can't see it it doesn't exist. But with those wire baskets, it's very difficult for things to get out of view completely.) 2/3
@gettingunstuck In the new flat, there's a special feature in the kitchen; a time switch for the whole kitchen's power supply (except the lamps) that can be programmed to either "power always on" or "provide power for [time freely programmable] when special button is pressed, then switch off". So incredibly useful for me with my anxiety disorder, and for any neighbors with similar disorders or with dementia etc.! 3/3
@juliainfinland Oh yes, I can absolutely see how just making things a bit more accessible could make a huge difference. Also, your kitchen sounds just super awesome. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
@gettingunstuck I even have a neighbor who's set the timer thing so that he never has *any* electricity in his kitchen (except for the lights and, well, necessary stuff such as the fridge and freezer). Great for people who (a) have dementia/some sort of memory problem and/or (b) bump into things a lot and don't want to accidentally switch on something.
@gettingunstuck the concept of ‘just do one thing’ helps me as I often feel overwhelmed. I get completely stuck and can’t function until I focus on that one thing and complete it.
@gettingunstuck run the vacuum cleaner/sweep a floor. It doesn't have to be the entire home, just one room. You're doing something worthwhile, for you, for your home, and you can take a small amount of pride in doing it. I find it helps.
@gettingunstuck going into the room where something could be done. Just going into the room. Most of the time I'll start doing the thing.
@gettingunstuck I tried the technique of 1) listening to inspiring/comforting music, 2) visuals on my monitor (landscape, fractals, etc.), and 3) sniffing a cup of fresh spices. The three together are supposed to help with a cognitive reset; not the complete answer but a useful step along the way.
@gettingunstuck a walk, a swim, a nap, a bath, working in the garden, meditation, breathing exercises, and stretching are helpful for me when I get stuck.
@gettingunstuck I recently asked a somewhat similar question. Got some good answers, and gave a list of my own: https://octodon.social/@kg6gfq/112058551700425063