If I am elected Mayor of Mastodon…
Touching butts (consensually) will not only be a right, it will be A CIVIC DUTY. If you cannot get to a butt to touch it, one will be made available for you. (not guaranteed)
Thank you for your vote.
@Mrfunkedude
Who are the candidates? I’ll probably cast my vote for Mr. Funk E. Dude and I’ll touch the same butt I’ve been touching for 30yrs, thank you.
@jeanettepizzurro to get the full list of candidates you'll have to go to Mastodon HQ and go down to the "electoral candidates office" in the sub section of "Waste Management" and look for locker 38764B. There under the section titled "Miscellaneous" you will find request form 764-FU. Simply fill out the form but change all instances of "Garbage disposal" and write in "Mayoral candidate". Take that form and turn it into the clerk. You'll get the list in 5 weeks.
@Mrfunkedude
Shit, I love simplicity. I got this!