plot twist: the thing you love is the destruction of your mental health, and you went into IT *because* you were already into self-harm. IT simply provided a convenient, deniable avenue in which to express said need for self-harm
https://mastodon.social/@ErisCaffee@masto.ai/111422968692520948
my experience in IT has *markedly* improved when i stopped putting up with bullshit and knowingly made a few enemies thru choice. i was already suicidal, so the additional risk didn't really register, and the outcome speaks for itself: i am no longer suicidal and i'm pretty okay with my job as it currently goes
it did take a few years and some bogus legal threats from an abusive past employer and some other things, but like, you are *already* into extreme self-harm. what do you have to lose? the illusory stability? the friends you sacrifice everything for while they either tell you to stop in frustration, or turn a blind eye and use your position to their ends?
@whitequark Look the stability is great, I just have to suffer through the crippling anxiety that I don’t know what I’m doing, my job description doesn’t describe what my boss wants me to do, my skip level knows who I am but wonders why my job desc tasks don’t get accomplished, and woop now I’m on my fifth new manager since annual performance evaluation last year.
(That year was… not good)